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Relations Among Apology, Forgiveness, and Communicative Responses to Hurtful Messages
Unformatted Document Text:  Forgiveness and Communication 9 strategies. Passive strategies included behaviors such as doing nothing and giving oneself or one’s partner space. Active strategies involved using nonverbal behavior (e.g., being romantic or decreasing affection) or third parties (e.g., asking a third party for information) to reduce uncertainty about the state of the relationship. Interactive strategies referenced direct forms of communication such as comforting the other, engaging in sex, talking about the relationship, spending more time together, and breaking up. Finally, uncertainty acceptance comprised behaviors such as dating others, trusting the partner, and ignoring the event. Responses to relational dissatisfaction. In a series of studies, Rusbult and her colleagues (e.g., Drigotas & Rusbult, 1992; Rusbult 1983, 1987; Rusbult & Zembrodt, 1983) have reported that people respond to dissatisfaction and relational problems by engaging in four general types of behaviors. Specifically, individuals engage in destructive responses falling under the categories of exit (e.g., active-destructive responses such as threatening to or actually breaking up) and neglect (e.g., passive-destructive responses such as allowing things to get worse and ignoring the partner) and constructive behaviors falling under the categories of voice (e.g., active-constructive behaviors such as trying to work things out and talking about the problem constructively) and loyalty (e.g., passive-constructive behaviors such as being patient and hoping things would improve). The more satisfied and committed people are to their relationships, the more likely they are to report using the constructive responses of voice or loyalty in response to dissatisfying events. Responses to jealousy. Jealousy is often a response to hurtful events such as sexual or emotional infidelity and betrayals of confidence. Thus, work on communicative responses to jealousy is relevant to more general work on hurtful events. Guerrero and her colleagues (Guerrero & Andersen, 1998; Guerrero et al., 1995) have identified 14 distinct ways that jealous individuals behave. Four of these behaviors—distributive communication, active distancing,

Authors: Bachman, Guy. and Guerrero, Laura.
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Forgiveness and Communication 9
strategies. Passive strategies included behaviors such as doing nothing and giving oneself or
one’s partner space. Active strategies involved using nonverbal behavior (e.g., being romantic or
decreasing affection) or third parties (e.g., asking a third party for information) to reduce
uncertainty about the state of the relationship. Interactive strategies referenced direct forms of
communication such as comforting the other, engaging in sex, talking about the relationship,
spending more time together, and breaking up. Finally, uncertainty acceptance comprised
behaviors such as dating others, trusting the partner, and ignoring the event.
Responses to relational dissatisfaction. In a series of studies, Rusbult and her colleagues
(e.g., Drigotas & Rusbult, 1992; Rusbult 1983, 1987; Rusbult & Zembrodt, 1983) have reported
that people respond to dissatisfaction and relational problems by engaging in four general types
of behaviors. Specifically, individuals engage in destructive responses falling under the
categories of exit (e.g., active-destructive responses such as threatening to or actually breaking
up) and neglect (e.g., passive-destructive responses such as allowing things to get worse and
ignoring the partner) and constructive behaviors falling under the categories of voice (e.g.,
active-constructive behaviors such as trying to work things out and talking about the problem
constructively) and loyalty (e.g., passive-constructive behaviors such as being patient and hoping
things would improve). The more satisfied and committed people are to their relationships, the
more likely they are to report using the constructive responses of voice or loyalty in response to
dissatisfying events.
Responses to jealousy. Jealousy is often a response to hurtful events such as sexual or
emotional infidelity and betrayals of confidence. Thus, work on communicative responses to
jealousy is relevant to more general work on hurtful events. Guerrero and her colleagues
(Guerrero & Andersen, 1998; Guerrero et al., 1995) have identified 14 distinct ways that jealous
individuals behave. Four of these behaviors—distributive communication, active distancing,


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