father. It is an example of interaction that involves a positive atmosphere being perceived as effective
communication: "Speaking with my boyfriend’s father about what he was going to do today. He
answered my questions in detail about his plans and we continued to talk about things related to what
he’s doing. We were open and comfortable talking to each other and I was able to talk with him like he’s
a friend of mine" (F, opposite, old people). This quotation illustrates that the respondent perceived their
communication as effective because they were open and comfortable communicating with each other.
Another female respondent described an interaction with an opposite-sex stranger at a birthday
party. It reveals that their interaction involved a positive atmosphere: "I was at my friend’s birthday party
and I met a friend of hers who came and started talking to me. He got to know my name and I got to
know his. We talked for a little bit and he was very friendly and we got along as if we’ve already known
each other" (F, opposite, strangers). This quotation also illustrates effective communication because the
respondent and the stranger were getting along with each other in the interaction.
This theme was found across all relationships. In addition, there was no difference in appearance
across the relationships in this theme, even at the subtheme level. No sex differences were observed.
Compatibility and similarity have been linked to effective communication in the United States.
Rogers and Bhownik (1971), for example, argue that communication between people who perceive that
they are similar is generally more effective than between people who perceive they are dissimilar. Berger
and Calabrese’s (1975) uncertainty reduction theory suggests that perceiving similarities leads to
increasing the frequency of communication and more openness. Openness is linked to the role of
communication skills in competence. Weinstein (1969) argues that having a large repertoire of skills is
necessary for communication competence. Burleson (1990) contends that conversational skills are
critical (e.g., the ability to start, maintain, and end conversations that are enjoyable). Any form of
apprehension (e.g., communication apprehension, McCroskey, 1982) or unwillingness-to-communicate
(e.g., Burgoon, 1976) can lead to ineffective communication.
Theme 3: Displaying Positive Behaviors. There were 55 respondents who defined effective
communication as displaying positive behaviors when communicating. The subthemes for this theme
Convention